I don't know why La couldn't get on to Elann, I had no trouble. Unfortunately, I never have any trouble when I try to visit them. I'm considering having my paychecks direct deposited into their bank account, in fact.
All of you going to Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival this weekend, think about us stuck here on the West Coast. We're jealous! We don't have any knitting events near us, the closest one is a 6 hour drive away and it's only once a year. Show us your loot when you get back...we'll just be sitting here. twiddling our thumbs. wondering what you're doing now. how 'bout now. now?|||108329541775978394|||Not Afraid of Change
All you gotta do is email me if you know the location OR the artist of this:
The GREAT TOWER OF SPERM
to be in the running for 2 hanks of this:
And if you answer both correctly, you'll also be entered in to win the mystery prize, which Jen has provided. (it's really REALLY cool)
Both prize winners will be chosen at random from all the correct entries.
Good luck!|||108319542304927953|||T minus 24 hours and Counting
Will post more later, or whenever I have something to blog about!|||108316820433206530|||Just a Little Something
** and here are my notes for the Fronts of Salt Peanuts, hope somebody somewhere is helped by them! **
The only good thing about my safety classes so far: the power tool safety instructor only had 9 fingers! |||108308365318275876|||Good Triumphs Over Evil
For months now I’ve been reading many knit blogs. I have marveled (and still do) at the diversity of it all. Though varied everyone’s taste, interest, and skill levels are, I have seen one common thread in almost every knitblog that is over 9 months running. Heat.
“It’s too hot to knit” (I scoffed)
“I want to work on this sweater, but I just can’t bring myself to knit because of the heat” (I snickered)
“I can’t wait until we get cooler weather so I can finish/start this shawl” (WTF???)
And I thought: Here, I did (do) historical reenactment wearing 20 pounds of velvet and brocade in the sweltering Las Vegas heat, and these ladies can’t knit when it’s hot? What a bunch wilting violets! (ok, ok, I’m being kind here, my thoughts as well as my adjectives were much less generous). Boy was I wrong!
Those were still my thoughts up until this weekend, until the weather reared it's ugly head and turned on me, and I experienced it for myself. How was I to know that a upswing in the temperature could turn a beautiful, scrumptious, squishy, soft and cuddly little baby blanket into an ugly, itchy, oppressive instrument of torture from hell!? Even the DH raised an eyebrow at my lack of knitting. Poor man, probably thought I had taken leave of my senses!
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I am oh, so sorry for ever thinking any of you were anything weaker than the Rock of Gibraltar! Please accept my most humble apologies.
B.A.B.B.s closeup:
and
B.A.B.B.s in her infancy:
I swear, there must be some mystery frogger that comes out in the dead of night, gets into my knit bag and unravels several rows of B.A.B.B.s, because she seems to not be getting much bigger, even though I knit on her every day.
Booty Call is now complete, and ready for blocking. Now I have never blocked anything in my life, so this will be interesting.
Not much else going on here, knitwise. I WAS going to start on Salt Peanuts, but due to the heat (and the fact that Jen’s scaring me with her CURSE) have postponed beginning it until I get done with the Bucket O Chic hat I’m knitting for my mom for Mother’s Day.
All her life, my mom has suffered from less than perfect alignment of her eyes, resulting in being so self-conscious of the fact, she rarely does anything to accentuate her pretty baby blues, and does everything to hid the fact that she’s a “cockeyed optimist” (her words, not mine). Last Friday she went in for surgery to correct this problem she’s lived with all of her life. The surgery was a success! I can't wait to see her and her new "look".
Still in her first year of retirement, she has become a hard-core gardening enthusiast, and walks for miles every day to retain her girlish figure. So, Bucket O Chic in a beautiful light sage mercerized cotton would be perfect, not only to protect her from this cursed heat, but to accent the color of her eyes. I figure I’ll turn it upside down and fill it with lots of lovely bath stuff, so not only will she look good, she’ll stink good too!
|||108302218998289461|||Mea Culpa....
This morning I looked at the collar/armhole instructions again before setting out for my OSHA required safety classes (more on that rant later) and this is what I've come up with:
Armhole shaping, which is the end without the lace rib/garter stitch border:
row 1: BO 5
row 2: k2, p2, k1, p to end
row 3: BO3
row 4: same as 2
row 5: k2, work 2 tog back dbl dec, then as they lie to end
row 6: same as 2
row 7: all sts as they lie
row 8: same as 2
row 9: repeat 5-8, as many times as indicated for your size
row 10-14: all sts as they lie
row 15: k2, k2 tog, then as they lie to end.
BUT:
when you reach the length indicated you must also at the other end, the one with the lace rib/garter edge, beginning with a WS row,
k2, p2, k2 tog, yo, pm, work as they lie to end
(simultaneously the opposite end may be undergoing its armhole decreases, depending on your pattern size)
this edge end now swaps so the RS is the WS and the WS is the RS so the collar may flip back and it is also increasing, to widen the collar. The rest of the instructions seem straight forward, but I'm not there yet.
There is no reason this needs to be so difficult. I hate those "at the same time" instructions. Work your damned pattern out so the "at the same time" crap coincides with the rest of what's going on in the pattern or don't write patterns. On the one end, do some decreasing and shaping and "at the same time" do something different, arbitrarily placed and difficult to remember, please note that you will need 3 separate counters working simultaneously to achieve the armhole and collar of this sweater. Why? No reason. !!!!!. How about this? Write a pattern "and at the same time" try to make it using your instructions!
To top it off, the curse has spilled over into my professional life. I have 6 OSHA mandated "safety" classes to pass before June 30th. Approximately 14,000 people must do the same, by the same deadline, at the same tiny facility. The facility manned by ONE moron at the front desk. The structure they have put in place to ensure all goes smoothly? Show up early and try to get into some of them. Now some of them we offer every half hour, but those are all full. The others we only offer three times a week, those are full too. Your best bet is to try again tomorrow or the next day. Sure, because as the deadline draws nearer, there will certainly be FEWER people trying to get into them! So we're standing there, not being able to get into any of the classes for hours and the lobby is cleared out. Is there any paper work we could get going, can we get the picture ID thing started? Nope. What you have to do for that is, come back for your first class, wait until we call you, take the class, fill out paperwork, stand in a line to turn in the paperwork, wait until we can take your picture. Repeat 6 times. At least it's worth it. The classes are tailor made to my job: I get to take a 2 hour class on "powder actuated tools", I don't even know what that is. Not once in 9 years have I ever been hurt by a "powder actuated tool". Gunfire, there's something I deal with regularly-oh wait, they don't even have a class for gunfire safety. All this is a weak and arbitrary attempt to mollify OSHA because there have been a few deaths in the industry in recent years. None of which were caused by "powder actuated tools", to my knowledge. The top 2 causes of injury in our industry: Extremely long hours with increasingly smaller rest periods between, and the constant, never ending RUSH and pressure placed on us by producers. How about do something about that? There are no classes on working around water/boats, helicopters, gunfire or extreme weather conditions, all of which we face regularly. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh, I forgot, I'm being paid $15 to take these classes. Silly me.
OSHA, you've got me by the short hairs, but Salt Peanuts/Veronik Avery, I will defeat you. If it takes my whole life and every ball of Mood Indigo Muench Bergamo, I will win. I will lift the Curse of the Salt Peanuts for myself and all those who innocently look at this sweater and think "I'd like to have that". |||108299870952329830|||The Curse of the Salt Peanuts
****edit**** I take it back, it appears that she knit this sweater freeform and then went back and tried to figure out what she did. They sneak that garter stitch border in on you after the fact.*********
Yeah, the fronts are tricky. Lace pattern repeats, combined with decreases at regular intervals which in no way relate to the lace increases make it really confusing. If you're there, or are going to be there soon, I've written out long-hand instructions to get you to the armhole-shoulder shaping-collar making-clusterfuck. When I get to that next bit of joy I'll do the same if needed.
Left Front, long hand instructions beginning from "Shape Waist" {this is after you have repeated row 1 one more time, having already worked 1-8 twice}
(RS)
{row 2} K1,ssk, k to last 5 sts, p1, k2tog, yo, k2-this is in the instructions and is followed by all sorts of repeat last 5 sts of lace pattern nonsense followed by cryptic instructions on waist decreases. From there:
{row 3 and all WS rows: k2, p2, k1, p to end}
row
4} k to last 5, p1, k4
6} k to last 5, p1, yo, ssk, k2
8} k1, ssk, k to last 5, p1, k4
10} k to last 5, p1, k2tog, yo, k2
12} repeat row 4
14} k1, ssk, k to last 5, p1, yo, ssk, k2
16} repeat row 8
18} repeat row 10
20} repeat row 8
22} repeat row 6
24} repeat row 8
26} repeat row 2
28} repeat row 4
30} repeat row 6
32} repeat row 8
34} repeat row 10
36} repeat row 4
38} repeat row 14
40} repeat row 8
42} repeat row 10
44} repeat row 4
46} repeat row 6
48} repeat row 8
{end of decrease repeats}
repeat the following 8 rows until your piece reaches length indicated in pattern:
49} k2, p2, k1, p to end
50} k to last 5, p1, k2tog, yo, k2
51} repeat 49
52} k to last 5, p1, k4
53} repeat 49
54} k to last 5, p1, yo, ssk, k2
55} repeat 49
56} k to last 5, p1, k4
{after your piece reaches length indicated in pattern, but on the next rows #1, CORRECTION:9 and 17, begin the row with a k2, m1}
If you find I've made mistakes, please let me know, via comment or email (in the Jen's Stuff column to the left) so I can correct this.|||108295256825319318|||GRRRRRRRRR
That waist shaping looks funky to me, we'll see how it looks when it's all put together. But just in case it looks bad, remember, I SAID I thought it was funky. It's hard to tell anything from the picture in the magazine, the anorexic model appears to be wearing a size 50 sweater so any shaping it may have is not evident from the photo. I have already done the lace rib portion of the left front, I'll keep you posted. I guess some people are saying the fronts are a bit tricky.
What sort of knitting makes for a good road trip project? I'm thinking of working on those 5 pairs of socks for my husband, or will I just get bored to tears and smash my head against the windshield wishing I'd brought something else?|||108291888008987793|||Salt Peanuts Update
I have reached the end of the lace rib section on the back of Salt Peanuts. I was able to do so thanks in part to my glasses, which I suddenly remembered I needed to wear in order to see dark stuff.
I apologize to our readers for telling La how to make strike-throughs. I forgot that she believes something worth doing is worth over-doing.
A new rule at JenLa, La is no longer allowed to post after 10 a.m. on Fridays for reasons we will not go into at this time. And if she ever compares Miss Bunny Fuzzykeester to Jar Jar Binks again, there will be hell to pay.
And lastly, Sarah Elizabeth pointed these out, which I desperately need. You have no idea how badly I covet these, all of them:
I can't believe I only just found out about them.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled knitting.
|||108276397427404481|||We Interrupt this Knit Along
Well, I’m attempting to apply the same kind of logic towards that damned Scrapbookers’ button at the very top of my column, but so far, to no avail. It is STILL there. But that’s ok. ”I’ll get you my pretty, and your little bunny, too!”
And now to promote the tactic of misdirection:
Here’s the picture I promised you yesterday of the RIO yarn, the prize for the (loud, booming voice over in reverb) GREAT TOWER OF SPERM contest
Isn't it just GAWJUS? (thank you Chelsea for that purrrrrect spelling) All soft and slinky. Yummmmmmy.....
Can someone say booty call?
It’s so itzybitzyteensyweensycutezywootzy...
Ok, ok. So, it's more a SHOE than a booty, but there's not any fun name I can give a SHOE...To date this is the cutest smallest thing ever that I have made with my own two hands, yarn, needles, and a whole lotta
Relatively shoe-like? Check
Resembles the picture? yeah....ok....Check
Sized to fit a human baby's foot? Eventually.....check
And it only took me 4 days, and that’s with frogging it 4 times (well, 2 of the days were spent CONTEMPLATING beginning it). Ok, you can stop snickering now. You don’t know HOW intimidated I was to start it. I’ve only been knitting for a little over 4 months, not once straying off the square/rectangle path.
The bitch of the matter now is I gotta make one just like it, mistakes and all, because if I don’t, the mate won’t have that same tailored look this one does, due to the mistakes. I just wish I had taken notes. Again, to retain some semblance of sanity I use the feline logic when it comes to my knitting errors, otherwise, I’d NEVER complete anything. I'll end up having to block these to get rid of the bumpiness around the toe, but all in all, it's not so very bad....
Is this the Easter Bunny? Or is someone doing a live impression of Jen’s knitted bunny?
Nope! It’s Saber in disguise. He was good and patient enough to model the Fuzzy Wuzzy Scarf. Don’t feel sorry for the pooch, he got several carrot stick treats for this. What a good sport! He sure does LOVE his mama!
Sassy's VERY amused by this all, can you tell?|||108275157598896265|||Feline Logic
Sweater Bunny from Toy Knits book by Debbie Bliss for the ZooAlong. The Bunny is in lavender mercerized cotton, the Sweater is the Rio La is giving away in the contest, but in the peach and purple colorway. This bunny sadly lacks a tail, so I added one myself. I also changed the face embroidery ever so slightly (filled in nose and eyes).
Next, I wove in tails and blocked the 2 Critter Knitter's Blankets I have done thus far.
Then I finished the snot purse. This is Noro Gemstones, color #8, which is evidently Japanese for "mucous with confetti in it". You scoff, but I've HAD mucous with confetti in it, resulting from a shoot which included the following: 2000 lbs of confetti, 2 giant ritter fans and a closed sound stage. Trust me! I haven't decided who will receive this particular gift.
And then I decided to wipe the Lilac Purse off my WIP list. So I embroidered it and finished the fucker. I'm so sick of seeing this thing laying on my desk. I am pleased with the results, and hopefully my SIL will like it, it is her favorite color. Another '04 Christmas gift.
So the WIP list gets shorter and the FO list gets longer. You will notice I employed the practice of cheating. The snot purse was never on the WIP list because I started and finished knitting it in one day, it was a simple matter of handles. The bunny was never on there either, and that was merely an oversight, it's been sitting on my desk collecting cat hair for a couple months now, I only needed to knit an arm, two ears, sew, stuff and make a sweater. The boring blanket is still sitting there and will be forever for all I know. The percentage bar on the website moved, though. Yes, I fixed the problem that prevented it from being visible. It's now up, but still unfinished. I made it so long ago that now I feel I want to re-do it......and I may. La still needs to finish her quarter of the bargain, but if you want to see it in it's infant (or infantile) state, go here. This predates the blog, but we may combine them in our upcoming blog redeux.
Wow, it feels better to have a clean slate. Now I can move on without having those projects nagging at me. And now I feel I must chime in on the great knitblog sponsored Guilt debate. Guilt is getting a bad rep around blogland lately. Without it, we wouldn't really experience decadence. That "guilty pleasure" thing would not be the same, and innocence would be overrated. That feeling of relief you get when you finally take care of something would never buoy you up. So guilt isn't all bad. I, for one, would have no self-discipline at all if not for guilt. Guilt makes me clean the cat box, makes me skip the cheesecake and in this case, makes me finish my WIP's. But don't go off thinking I want you to feel guilty about anything, particularly knitting. Knitting stuff I don't feel guilty about: yarn purchases, knitting supply purchases and book/pattern purchases. I work for a living, earn my money and can spend it on what I want. Besides, a good percentage of what I knit is either gifts or charity. Speaking of which: don't you think I deserve some really great present for knitting my husband's entire family gifts for next Christmas? When he isn't out Christmas shopping for them, I hope he remembers my toil during the rest of the year. How's that for guilt?? Anyway, used properly, guilt is an effective tool, ask any mother. There ain't no heaven without a hell.
And now: Salt Peanuts. Bergamo, you can run, but you can't hide. I'm going to catch up with the rest of those SP alongers.|||108268315926801535|||Long Post
So, in keeping with the "Harry's Package", "Dick's Package", "Salt Penis" vein, hehe, dude! She said VEIN! and in an attempt at misdirection I offer you this.....
THE GREAT TOWER OF SPERM
Yessssssssssss!!!!!!....the East Coast's tribute the zygote: those marathon swimmers of the microscopic world, whose only mission is to battle their way "upstream" to their deaths in the hopes that one, just ONE! gets through.
Ok, everyone, for the first time ever on JenLa it is contest time! Drumroll please....If anyone can tell me where this glass sculpture is located, OR, who the artist is,I've got 2 gorgeous skeins of RIO in the blue colorway (hopefully picture to follow). And if you can tell me both, there'll be a bonus mystery prize. Now we'll see who has been paying attention. I'll give you ONE clue..."Why gamble on an Ivy League education ?"
Winner will be selected at random from all the correct answers. In case there are no correct answers, winner will be selected randomly from answers that amuse us the most. Please email me with your answers.
So to clarify. To qualify for the Rio, one needs only to know either the artist OR the location. To qualify for the mystery prize, one needs to know both. For multiple correct answers in both instances, winner(s) will be selected at random.
We'll run this contest for a week, and announce the winner next Friday. Good luck!
Whew! This contest thingy is harder to run than I thought!
Pssssssssssstttttt.......... did it work?
Moze says "nice try, but uhhhh..............nope!"
DAMMITALLTOHELLANDBACK!
JEN???!?|||108266654532355587|||Queen of Denial
Now that it's blocked, the drape is really nice. I was a tiny bit worried, but I end up being very pleased with it. Husband says his mom will love it. Too bad I didn't get the bottom corner out from behind those leaves in the pic, but I assure you it is a triangle.
In a rare stroke of self-discipline, I am forcing myself to clear out a few UFO's from Mt. Languish before I start Salt Peanuts. I don't know why I'm doing this. I should re-organize the stash as well, since the husband referred to my stash system as "a joke, really". We'll see about that one. |||108258801397067527|||Brad, fini
I swatched the Meunch Bergamo for Salt Peanuts today. I did a R-E-A-L swatch. 4"x4". Instead of my cheating 1.5"OKthatsgoodenoughIthinkitwillwork usual swatch. And, since I'm already tempting fate by gloating about how wonderful tomorrow will be, why not throw caution to the wind and gloat about how my gauge is perfect ? Yes, Rock Chick we ARE the Yarn Whisperers. Can I just gush about this yarn for a second? (I can! It's my blog!) It's springy! It knits up so evenly! It knits up so fast! It's so fun to knit, made even more fun with my spankin' new Denise needles! Oooooooooooooooooooo! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Love Love Love. I'm ordering more for "someone" who will be getting a Christmas sweater if ever I could find any time to knit without them around. Someone who doesn't mind dropping what they're doing to help me untangle The Worst Knot Ever while I continue to knit so I can finish something before bed.
New job on horizon, looming like a threatening tornado. Won't think about it until June, which is when I would begin heading for the cellar with all my priceless belongings.|||108252396592808826|||Farewell Brad
Anywaaaaaay...Had a great weekend! Saturday, Jen and I spent a no-hassle, no-pressure daytogether. We drove up to Ventura for a Crafts festival, and though they advertised that there would be knitting stuff there, there was pathetic little of it to be found. Token, really, just enough to not get sued for false advertising. But that didn't stop US from shopping! We even set foot inside of a couple of *shudder* scrapbooking booths...validating this slip in decorum by not getting anything that needs pasting or gluing. We have determined that pasting and gluing is what makes scrapbooking tacky...(Bad La. No doughnut!)
On our way back we discovered this wonderful yarn shop in Thousand Oaks called Eva's Needleworks. She has a good selection of yarn and books, and I made several gratuitous yarn purchases (ok, ok.....just one, but it's really REALLY pretty!), and one book purchase.
After a very breezy lunch we decided to go to Santa Clarita via backtracking all the way BACK to Ventura to catch the 126. Usually I sweat having to backtrack, whether intentionally or not, but since the day was more about the drive, the view and the company and NOT about the destination, it was cool. We got some really good rainy weather on the way, which made Jen
On Sunday the DH and I accompanied my 4 1/2 year old nephew and his grandparents (on the OTHER side of the family) to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. Now, I've never been there, so I was looking forward to it. You couldn't have asked for a nicer day! The rain the day before washed everything clean....the sky was blue with light fluffy clouds, the air was breezy but warm. Just gorgeous. I had a great time. I don't get much of a chance to spend time with Mikey, so this was a treat.
The funny (or pathetic, depending on how you view it) is that every
La and I drove northwards to Ventura on Saturday to a craft festival, which advertised knitting as one of the crafts represented, but it was a big fat lie. We saw ONE booth which had a total of about a dozen skeins of Lion Brand mixed in with its other craft supplies and that was it. Still, we did manage to score a few little things here and there. Neither of us being very "crafty", with the exception of knitting and some sewing, we left without breaking the bank. We did find a nice yarn store in Thousand Oaks, Eva's Needleworks. She had a good assortment of everything, some novelty, some Rowan, some Debbie Bliss, Cascade, etc. I got out for under $40, buying only some Cascade for a felting project. That's right, I'm gonna do it, see what all the fuss is about. So many people out there rave, it makes me curious. So a felted basket or cat bed (can't decide) will be in the lineup sooner or later.
Brad is nearly done. 3 pattern rows then 9 knit rows for the top border and he's finished. Not a moment too soon, because I have a terrible case of
and I cannot wait to begin swatching Salt Peanuts. When I was telling the husband about Salt Peanuts, he interjected "SALT PENIS?????", and I'm pleased to see that whether intentional or not, the knit along button appears to have one. Heh heh. |||108238687755645761|||AlmostFirst up is a close up of "Chloe" the high fashion scarf I made for my SD, Chrissy while it was still on the needles:
And here's the end result, modeled by the beautiful recipient herself:
You know, it's really kinda cool to be buddies with your step daughter, and not so much of a "mom" figure! We can do silly, girly stuff together, and often did on our visit back east, making our husbands roll their eyes and chuckle at our goofiness.
Here's the beginning stages of Ribbit:
I ended up completely frogging Ribbit 3 times (that's one of the reasons for its name). The first time, because I didn't take into consideration that ribbing reduces the width, and it was too narrow; the second time because I wasn't liking the 2 x 2 ribbing and it was STILL too narrow, and the 3rd, because I wasn't liking the 3 x 3 ribbing, and, yes you guessed it, it was STILL TOO NARROW. So I settled on a 4 x 2, and now it's JUUUUUUUUUUST RIGHT!
This has nothing to do with knitting, but I got such a kick out of it when I saw it, I just had to take a picture and share it with all of you.
There was also a "Dick's Package", but I was snickering so hard, that in the process of shooting Pepsi out of my nose, I missed the opportunity to snap it. I think I may just have to send it into "Leno". Which reminds me, I gotta get a picture of the slogan on the side of a local butcher's deliver van "You can't beat our meat". Sends me into hysterical, girly fits of laughter every time I see it.
Well, knitting wise.....I'm going to hit a LYS on my way home from work tonight.... ssssshhhhhhhh, don't tell anyone I'm indulging in solo S.E.X ....thank goodness it stays open late on Friday! Gotta get me some of that booty yarn.|||108214712833825511|||It's been a long time coming....
Perhaps it's because I'm in a slump. Have any of you, in your knitting development reached the point where you're tired as hell of knitting the stuff you know you can knit with your eyes closed, but afraid to try something much more advanced for fear of fucking it up? I know, I know...."suck it up La" "shut up, quit whining, and try something more difficult, you baby!" "I'm sorry, can you repeat that? All I heard was "WAAAAHHHH!" Gee, thanks, everyone.
Yesterday, I decided to floozie out on my BABBs for a little while, and make those darling little seed stitch shoes, which are a little more difficult that the basic quadrillaterals I've BEEN knitting. So, I went to my stash to see what I had:
1. #2 needles - nope, nada...none whatsoever; not in aluminum, not in bamboo, not in circs. The smallest needle size I have are a pair of #4 aluminum circs, and those just aren't gonna cut it.....
next!?
2. Sport weight (or perhaps even DK) yarn - nope, except for my alpaca puppies, and they'r earmarked.....DAMN!
You see, I don't want just ANY sport weight yarn, I want something in a slate blue or a sage green....something with cotton in it, but blended with something so it has some play, that way they will be durable AND machine washable. I don't want crappy acrylic made-just-for-babies yarn (too cliche. My nephew's gotta be styling.) Larger gauge yarn is out of the question. I'm not ready to try to figure any other gauge than what the pattern is calls for, otherwise I'll be knitting baby booties the size of Magic Johnson's feet, and who's kidding whom...this is my BROTHER'S kid we're talking about....he'll NEVER have feet THAT big (if you know what I mean). Basically, I want the kind that I want, and I want it NOW, The fact that I don't have it is seriously pissing me off.
This called for an emergency trip to JoAnns. So I go there on my way home last night, thinking that I'll pick up another 2 skeins of the TLC I'm using for the baby blanket while I'm at it, cuz I'm going to need it before I'm done with the abomination aka BABBs. The only #2 needles they have are aluminum circs, not my needle of choice, but they'll do. I peruse all the yarn. What I'm looking for is something comparable to the Debbie Bliss that they use in the book...a washable(?) cotton/wool blend...but nothing. Not a fucking skein, ball or hank of natural-fiber yarn (unless you count the dishcloth cotton...ewwwwwwww) IN the entire place. I know what you're saying....well, DUH!
Now they have some SW and DK stuff, but it just feels, you know....squeaky. And I am SO done with knitting with squeaky yarn. Then, I go over to the TLC bins, and wouldn't you know, some land yacht is rolling away with every single skein of the TLC Oasis. Couldn't leave me even 2. Nope, had to take the whole lot of it......that wool-pig wannabe. Well, I didn't feel like just purchasing the needles, so I left them, went home and plugged away at BABBs. Due to lack of preparation, I failed to floozy.
Of course, I only have myself to blame. This whole experience has shed some light on my serious stash neglect. I should be ashamed. Every single batch of yarn I have is earmarked for something......it might be a something I'm not ready, skillwise, to knit yet but it's reserved for something. That is, all but one hank of 1,200 yards of hand-painted linen yarn from Interweavements, and that's to be knitted into something for me. Don't know what, yet, but I'll be damned if it's gonna go on some baby's feet, even IF those feet belong to a future member of my family.
So, not only am I disgrace to all yarn floozies the world over, and even worse, I suck as a yarn ho. I need some serious S.E.X. and I need it soon. My stash is pitiful. Even the great enablers like Jen and Rock Chick, and yarn pimps like Elann (though their more a yarn tease lately) and Patternworks haven't been able to help me out much. I've lost my twinkle.....I need S.E.X., I tell you! I need massive amounts of gratuitous yarn purchases.....but first I'm gonna find that yarn for the baby shoes, so help me, I'm gonna...|||108207385627892256|||Whine....Bitch....Moan
So I'm having a two-night stand with my alpaca earflap hat. Using the handpaint from Stitches West and really just winging the pattern. It's nice to have something less demanding, with no long term commitment.
For those of you who have asked, the pattern for Brad is in Knitted Shawls, Stoles & Scarves by Nancie M. Wiseman, called Lavendar Shawl and it really isn't a difficult pattern, just one to which you need pay attention. And it got its new and improved name because Rock Chick said I could call it anything I wanted and I went with her suggestion. Lavendar Shawl only works if its a) lavendar and b) you like utterly dull names for things.|||108197862202196689|||Time Out
You see, my thinking was....do something simple, so I can knit it up fast. That way I can get it done in time to send it to Colorado for the babyshower this weekend. What I didn't take into account was that simple doesn't always mean fast, especially when it's so fucking boring that it would try the patience of a tortoise. Simple plus boring equals long, drawn-out, endless, excutiating procrastination. ( I mean I'd rather sit through a lecture on how Rome was NOT built in a day, what they wore while they were building it, and what tools they used, than knit this damned blanket!) It also doesn't help when you accidentally cast on an additional 5 stitches. Yeah, like I couldn't use the effort, energy and yarn expended on those extra 5 stitches to knitting rows, which total a gazillion, give or take a few.
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
So I've got about 10 inches done on it. Only 30 more to go. Yeah, I don't forsee it being done by Thursday. I'll be lucky if the damned thing is done by the time the baby is ready for college. I just cringe every time I pull it out of my knitting bag. Maybe I have Knitters Attention Deficit Disorder. And I'm developing a good case of Knitter's Tourrettes, already had a good start on that in bleedover from Seamstress Tourrettes. But I gotta do it, if only on principle, and chock it up as yet another painful lesson learned.
On a different note, I have decided to do the cute seed-stitch baby shoes out of the Debbie Bliss Baby Knits for Beginners book in a slate blue (how's THAT for originality?) that matches the blue in the blanket (which is done in a varigated yarn of blues, greens, beige and white). They'll be small, quick, and I'll get my finger dexterity workout in my left hand. They will be my first shaped pieces as well. I'm getting sick of rectangles (because, for some reason I just can't do squares). I may just end up "floozying" and start them before I get the damned blanket done.
|||108189253766940539|||Slacker!
1) Deep cleaning of apartment
Which lead to major allergies, followed by massive doses of antihistamines.
2) Major freakin' laundry
Since I haven't done it in forever I had like 10 loads.
3) Watching zombie movies
I really like zombies. Nothing touches 28 Days Later for zombie movies, but I saw Dawn of the Dead, which was pretty good by zombie movie standards and then rented House of the Dead (based on the videogame), which really really sucked by zombie movie standards.
4) Eating sushi
I wrote you all a little haiku to preserve the memory of eating sushi in the car leaving work friday night:
Wasabi in eye
Burning a hole through my head
I weep and rub it
Pretty bad, huh? Yeah, well it's all I got.
5) Precious little knitting. Here's a couple of pictures of BPDMDS, at last. I'd say it's maybe 1/3 of the way done.
1/3 is just a guess. My formula for the size is this: knit until I'm out of yarn. I can't tell how much yarn I have left really. It will be enough, I do know that. I've been frustrated by how much knitting I have on the plate vs. how much I'm getting done, but I know next week it will improve since I won't be doing this horrible job anymore.
6) Shopping. I wanted a new bedspread but found nothing I liked. I found a hutch for my dining room which I will get next weekend, bought a new rug and.......Oh: I ordered this, this and THIS. I am not a big fan of plastic, although I have always thought it would come in very handy, but I got sick of never having the right size needle, no matter how many I buy and since KnitPicks mailed me a catalog out of the blue causing me to notice their reasonable prices, followed by this week's Knitter's Review offering 10% off and free shipping, I went for it. I also ordered again from elann. SOMEBODY HELP! 10 balls of Classic Elite Sock it to Me Esprit in nougat. For my husband's socks. Really, it's for him. He wants to go to England this summer and walk Hadrian's wall in his Roman kit, with a local re-enactment group who does it each year. He'll need a week's worth of socks for this, and if I can be convinced to make that damned many boring socks between now and then he would be all set. That also means a week for me in England to do what? Maybe I'll hit a yarn shop or two (or 14) while he's hiking.
I also made the springy Knit in Public button up there in my sidebar, feel free to snag.
I work all nights next week so I doubt I'll see the computer much. Back for real the following week. Happy knitting.|||108172011834584983|||Slow Progress is Better Than No Progress
Take the quiz: "Which American City Are You?"
San Francisco
Liberal and proud, you'll live your lifestyle however you choose in the face of all that would supress you.
Well, now, I don't know if I agree totally with the liberal part, but, what the heck...Hey Jen....I finally saw the Golden Gate Bridge! Ok, enough of this, back to knitting and my life which is SO much more interesting.
More to come later.....3 rows from being done with the CK blanket, and then it's time to start on my first baby blanket. That was some great advice about picking up stitches left in the comments section on my last post. "Who WAS that masked knitter?" Well, whoever you are....thanks!|||108152609938319980|||Just cuz...
Well, I had decided to do Critter Knitter Blankie #2 in stockinette stitch, with a 2" border all around in seed stitch.
Well, the stockinette turned out fine, except for it didn't turn out square. I can't seem to knit a perfect square to save my life! I guess subliminally, I'm loving rectangles. On the flipside, I'm feeling pretty good about getting better consistency in my tension. Now, this is where the love affair with this blankie ends.
I wanted to do the border in seed stitch, and learn how to pick up stitches. Well I learned.....not very well I'm afraid. Two nights ago, I was so stoked! I actually did it. I pulled out my handy dandy Knitter's Companion, followed the instructions, and what do you know! A perfect 2" border in seed stitch. That is until you look at the "wrong" side. I've got a ridge where I picked up the stitches. The next end (the opposite end of the first border) I try again. This time, the ridge, though still there, is less pronounced. Now, these two ends were easy, they were the C/O and the B/O ends. Not so bad. I'm feeling a little less innept.
Now it's time to pick up stitches on the selvedge edges...hhhhhhhhhhh. My fingertips ache from having to practically force the needle back through after catching the yarn on the other side, but I do it, knit 4 rows, and realize that it is WAY too long. I picked up too many stitches. FROG and start over, and pick up fewer stitches. Finish that side, do the other.....hhhhhhhhhh The sides are STILL too long, but I'm too sick of this fucking blankie to frog it yet again! So, now I'm under the distinct frame of mind that I hate, HATE picking up stitches.
But the blankie is pretty, even though I know it's fucked up: muted, multicolored stockinette body, and a nice, slightly ruffly blue border in seed stitch. I'll post pictures just as soon as I can sneak the use of my SS digital camera. So......if anyone asks, I'll act just like my cat does when he falls off of the carpet, and answer... "Yeah, I MEANT to do that!"|||108146567525123098|||Practice Makes Perfect
Computer Guru: I got a router. $3,500 doesn't sound too bad to have the entire building and each office wired for high speed internet.
(ooooh! Finally, I can get rid of this dial-up shit!)
CG: What kind of pipe is it?
Jass: (
CG: What is it, broadband, DSL... what?
Jass: Oh, T-1, I think. Doesn't DSL slow down if alot of people are using it at the same time?
CG: No, that's cable/broadband.
Jass: So, I can have them install high speed internet, and charge X amount of dollars for each tenant to use it.
CG: Sure.
Jass: But then I'll have to have each office wired for it, so that when they move in, they can just plug in and go, and that would add to the cost, and I'll have to get a router.
CG: I thought you said that it'll be $3,500 for them to do that. The jacks will already be in there, and I've got a router.
Jass: But if the entire building is using the T-1, won't that slow it down?
CG: No, that's only cable/broadband type high speed internet.
Jass: So which one is better, DSL or T-1?
CG: Well, usually the T-1 is better, except for here. We're so close to Pac Bell, that the DSL is faster.
Jass: But which is faster?
CG: Usually T-1, except for here, because we're so close to Pac Bell station.
Jass: So, where's the station?
CG: I don't know, but it's within a quarter-mile.
Jass: So, how far away ARE we from the station.
La: snicker snicker
CG: Within a quarter mile
(gotta hand it to the guy, he's got patience. By this time La would be rolling her eyes, and making very perturb hhhhhhhhhhh sounds, all the while supressing an overwhelming urge to kill)
Jass: So you're saying that I can wire the entire building for high speed internet, charge each tenant X amount of dollars for the use, and they'll get internet access and an email address?
CG: No, they'll have to contact the IP to get a dedicated email address.
Jass: But if everyone is on, won't it run slower?
CG: No
Jass: And they get an email address?
CG: No, they'll get internet access. They'll have to order their own email address. Unless you purchase a block of them from the IP Server.
Jass: Isn't T-1 faster than DSL?
La: Holy shit, Bob! How many times are you gonna ask the man the same damned question?
Jass: Bite me!
That made me lose it. I was laughing so hard, I almost peed my pants! I had to get outta there. I packed up my knitting and I left.....I'm sure they heard my cackling all the way to my car.
I get to my dentist office, a place where I've spent so much time lately, they should have special reserved seating just for me. I'm checking in, and I hear a child in the corner whisper loudly to her mom, "Mama, mama! The knitting lady is here!"
I look up, and see an adorable 5-year old little girl tugging at her mama's arm. And what's her mama doing? Crocheting something very pretty in cream and yellow! So I plop down beside the mama, and start knitting. We didn't have much time to talk, and unfortunately, there was a small language barrier. But we spoke the universal language of yarn! That says it all.
5 minutes later they call me in (a world record, in my book), seat me in my usual room. And I knit as I wait. One by one the
"Wow, that's a different one."
"I just LOVE those colors!"
"What's it gonna be?"
"Did you finish the scarf you were working on last time?"
"What about the scarf before that?"
"I crochet, but not as good as my grandmother, she makes Spanish lace"
"Jeez, you're fast!" (this last one made me chuckle, I'm ANYTHING but fast!)
Wow! I've never been so occupied at the dentist office before. My time there just FLEW by! It helps that they didn't have to give me any fucking novacaine, (which in my book is 200% more painful than the damned procedure they're numbing me up for!)
As I leave the office the little girl calls out to me, "Bye bye Knitting Lady!"
I think I may want to adopt her.
|||108129796069453634|||Caught While Knitting
In other news, this show is turning into a disaster, and I don't mean for me personally. It's an across the board clusterfuck. We haven't made any of our days yet (meaning we have yet to complete the work scheduled for the day, any day thus far), a bad sign and one that may prolong the agony if we have to extend to make up for our missing scenes. Everyone is screaming at each other for 12 hours of the day, we're all sick of the sight of one another, none of us is given the proper time to do our jobs in a way that makes the show look good, there's mutiny in the air and few believe the pilot will get picked up (made into a series) because everyday we fall short of getting the scenes we need on film. And those are just a few highlights. And after only FIVE days of shooting, amazing. When it's not affecting me directly, I find it all rather hysterical. A group of 75 adults in a panic from start to wrap over a freakin' TV show. You'd think we were splitting the atom or curing cancer, it's all so serious. Careers made and broken over a hair out of place. Dumbass. Weirdly, although I cannot stand some of the shows I do, I like my work. I like working with the actors and finding solutions to weird problems. (btw, bailing wire and double stick carpet tape will save the world, mark my words) so although it's often frustrating, it's not without some level of fulfillment. Not including this asshole show, of course, which is mere dollars in the bank and nothing more. Hey, I'd whore myself out as a dancing monkey if the price was right.
Some day I'm going to actually post some pictures. That might be a treat. Just think-visual stimulation.
Oh yeah. And our principal actress mentioned today that she'd like me to teach her to knit. Ha. I bit another one! She's British and she "quite likes the idea of knitting on set." Not only that, but on the way home we had to take a detour to pick up something we need for tomorrow and on the way I spotted a never-before-known-to-me knitting shop in my area!!!! It had a bright red sign, saying "KNITTING" with a red cross beside it, my husband commented that it was like a beacon in the night, summoning me. He knows me well.
|||108122766675728492|||Circular Reasoning
You see, I put together newsletters for 2 of my clients, both of them prominent financial advisors in the South Bay area of L.A. county. I send Kinkos the print jobs through email, and follow it up immediately with a call to the print manager to verify that they receive them, answer any questions they may have, and to ensure a 24-hour turn around time, which they always do, that is, they always assure me a 24-hour turn around time. Keep reading...
The print jobs went out on Friday, before lunch. They were due in my office this morning before lunch. Well, guess what? No sign of any pimply-faced, barely-out-of-puberty Kinkos delivery guy knocking on my office door. So, I call. Come to find out, they can't find the print job anywhere! My reaction? Pure rage. I mean, what the fuck is so hard? this is a print job they do every month, and every month they fuck it up. So I lay into this guy (doesn't help him much that I'm PMSing). And I'm STILL waiting on a call back.
Now how, knowing that I'm a raging bitch with a diverse vocaublary bigger than anything they ever heard, even in their Freshman English Lit. classes, can they fuck up the print order every month without fail? Are they staffed with masochistic pip-squeeks that get their secret jollies from me yelling at them month after month? Do they enjoy losing money for their company because I insist that they give my clients a break on their bills because the newsletter is never delivered on time? How the hell these morons stay in business is beyond me!
Now I know what you're thinking: "Well, La, if they're so inept, doesn't that make you an even bigger moron for dealing with them? Why not just take it somewhere else?"
Good question, glad you asked. I'd love to go elsewhere, but I can't. They're the only show in town. So, it's either go to them, or print it myself, which, because Jass is such a C.A.B. (short for cheap-assed bastard), I don't have the capability of doing. My cheesy little printer only does black-and-white, and is not set up to handle 11 x 17 paper.
So, now I've been waiting for a call-back from the print manager to tell me just why and where they dropped the ball, and how they plan to appease me and my clients. And for the love of Bob, why can't they hire people whose voices aren't still changing? That might take care of half the problem.
There better be plenty of ass-kissing. The longer he makes me wait, the worse it will be for him. Keep it up, jackholes. As Jen would say, you're tap-dancing on landmines here...|||108119746350541170|||Gold Medal Contender
I stitched a bit on BPDMDS shawl but I knit a row, purl a row, knit a row, rip. REKNIT a row, purl a row, knit a row, rip. It reminds me of step aerobics, remember those? They weren't fun, where they? Neither is this. My competitive nature won't let me give up. I'm going to figure out what the fuck I'm doing wrong if it kills me and everyone around me, so look for pics eventually.
I added the buttons for the Salt Peanut Along, the Zoo Along and the Never Ending Purse Along. The husband thinks it's a joke, my being "involved" in so many knit alongs. Lots of projects on my own is one thing, not being beholden to anyone to finish, but taking part in such a public declaration of future FO's seems unlikely to him. Ha. That's just what I needed to get my ass moving. Don't hint to me what I can or can't/will or won't do! (although he was right about the secret knitting pal program, he told me I'd only be a sucky pal because I wouldn't keep up with the commitments so I decided to wait til next go round with that.) What I did not add is that weather pixie in the lower left. I must say, I'm a little freaked out seeing this uninvited chick in my sidebar. Unnerving, you know? I've questioned La on this and have yet to receive an answer. And if La did invite her, why is she in my sidebar and not La's? I think she is there to mock me. She knows that I love weather and she also knows that living in L.A. where there is no weather hurts my soul and she finds this amusing. Is there anything more useless than a weather pixie in Los Angeles? I know I could get rid of her, but at the same time, not knowing how she got there, I'm a little afraid to do it. I think I'll take a few days to size her up before I go mano-a-mano with this cyber-bully. Or maybe La is getting back at me for calling it like I see it on the whole sci-fi thing.......if so, it's going to require planning to wreak my revenge.|||108105715620373436|||Up for Air
I did about 2" of Brad Pitt Do Me Doggy Style today. No pics, it's not interesting yet. In fact, neither is this post. Just felt like posting so I had a record of living through April 1, 2004. A fast scan of a few blogs shows that I am missing out on a Zoo Along amongst other things, and the missing out is the most unforgivable and offensive aspect of this damn show. Too bad I need the money. See ya this weekend. |||108090498633087151|||I'm a Leo-With Fury Rising
Looking through a home decor catalog the other day I came across this, which I think would be absolutely PERFECT for Mr. Jen's next birthday present. What do you think Jen?
Don't you just LOVE it?
Fuzzy Wuzzy is all done except for weaving in the tails. Now to start on my next Critter Knitter Coalition Knit-a-thon blankie. Looking at the multitude of prizes, makes me want to knit more and more. I think the next one I'll do (after the one I've already cast on) will be from Hugs for Homeless Animals. Eva recommended the Comfy Knit Snuggle. That way I can practice my "Yarn Over" and "Knit Two Together"
On deck is "Daniel" (which, coincidentally, is the name I think they should give the baby);the baby blanket I'm knitting for my nephew who is due to make his squalling appearance into this world in June. I'm not sure which pattern to use. There's always the pattern from Stitches From The Heart. If I do the one I originally planned to do, which was Super Easy Blanket, I'll be doing the exact same thing as I did in the snuggle. But there's always the Easy Breezy Blanket, which sounds kinda fun too. Guess I'll have to decide eventually. But, knowing me, I'll probably make both!
Oh, one last thing.......we haven't had a nauseatingly cute pet pic on here for a while, so for your enjoyment, without further ado.....
"I'll just lay down here on the Uber WTF, and you lay down over there, and there'll be no trouble...savvy?"
"Ma! Momoze's is hogging the couch again!"|||108085520136119536|||Some Stuff: